04 June 2014

29 Things You Can't Do When You've Burnt Your Legs to Ratshit

 
  1. Shave
  2. Scratch
  3. Slap a biting mosquito
  4. Cross your legs
  5. Sit cross-legged, yoga-style
  6. Basically bend your knees anywhere north of 90 degrees
  7. Sleep with your legs together
  8. Sleep on your stomach
  9. Move your legs at all while you sleep
  10. Sleep
  11. Expose your skin to sunlight
  12. Enjoy an evening foot- and leg-rub from your spouse
  13. Allow children or small dogs to sit on your lap
  14. Accidentally bump anything
  15. Apply lotion
  16. Wear jeans
  17. Wear cotton-blend or polyester pants
  18. Wear any kind of pants, basically
  19. Wear socks that rise above your ankle
  20. Exercise
  21. Sweat
  22. Shower with hot water
  23. Shower with warm water
  24. Shower with water warmer than room temperature
  25. Shower using soap
  26. Shower without crying
  27. Stretch
  28. Touch your skin, either accidentally or on purpose
  29. Move.
    At all.
    Ever.